Christopher Titus Quotes About Giving

• You don't give out trophies for losing. Trophies for sucking. That's a communist idea. You don't get a trophy for losing. You get a piece of pizza and you shut up. Trophies for losing? What the hell happened to us?

  Christopher Titus

  Ideas, Giving, Trophies

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Psychiatrist are like mind hookers. Give them 200 dollars and they just screw with your head.

  Christopher Titus

  Giving, Mind, Dollars

• No puedo evitar que un idiota se estrelle contra un edificio o haga explotar un autobús, sólo puedo ser tu padre y darte unas cuantas verdades puras. Número uno, la cinta adhesiva te salvará la vida. Numero dos, Tupac esta vivo, pero necesito que lo mantengas en secreto por Suge. Y número tres, no tengas miedo de nada - excepto de las noticias de la televisión porque te mienten todas las noches.

  Christopher Titus

  Dad, Lying, Night

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Consider Palin for President? The most powerful job on earth? You don't give the dumb cheerleader the Uzi. That's in the Bible.

  Christopher Titus

  Jobs, Powerful, Giving

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Losing builds character. So, if you're the loser in your family, don't worry. 'Cos twenty years form now, that perfect can do no wrong brother of yours is going to show up at your house, bald, fat, divorced, with six kids who all hate him and he's going to ask you for money. And because of your character, you're going to look him right in the eyes and you're going to say, You know what, I'll give you some money. If you mow my lawn and detail my car. Oh yeah, then you can shampoo the tail. Loser.

  Christopher Titus

  Brother, Hate, Character

  "Titus / Shannon's Song". www.imdb.com. 2001.

• Vengeance, is good. You give it, you get it. It's all part of what makes us human. So thank god for vengeance. Otherwise, the human race might as well just roll over and let another species for a while. I think it will be the cats. Watch 'em. They're cooking up something.

  Christopher Titus

  Cat, Thinking, Race

  "Titus / Same Courtesy". www.imdb.com. 2002.

• I say we spend some money, clean up some junkies and make them all go work for the Red Cross. You ever give blood to the Red Cross? Little paper hatted trainee kid, just sticking you full of holes. Golly, jeez, this is way harder than the deep fryer, how does this work? You get an ex-junkie in there, bap-bap, he's gonna find a vein. You're in, you're out, you got sugar cookie and you're happy!

  Christopher Titus

  Kids, Blood, Giving

  "Christopher Titus: Norman Rockwell Is Bleeding". Comedy, One-man Show, www.imdb.com. June 06, 2004.

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