David Richo Quotes

• A wound does not destroy us. It activates our self-healing powers. The point is not to "put it behind you" but to keep benefiting from the strength it has awakened.

  David Richo

  Healing, Grieving, Self

  David Richo (2002). “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, p.252, Shambhala Publications

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• Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us.

  David Richo

  Relationship, Beautiful, Get Well

  David Richo (2007). “The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know”, p.17, Shambhala Publications

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• The Five A’s (attention, appreciation, acceptance, affection, allowing) are simultaneously the fulfillment of our earliest needs, the requirements of adult intimacy and of universal compassion, and the essential qualities of mindfulness practice.

  David Richo

  Appreciation, Acceptance, Compassion

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• Once we make our relationship choices in an adult way, a prospective partner who is unavailable, nonreciprocal, or not open to processing feelings and issues, becomes, by those very facts, unappealing. Once we love ourselves, people no longer look good to us unless they are good for us.

  David Richo

  Issues, People, Choices

  David Richo (2002). “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, p.85, Shambhala Publications

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• No creamos nuestro destino, sino que participamos en su desarrollo. La sincronicidad actúa como catalizador para la realización de ese destino.

  David Richo

  Destiny, Work Out, Coincidence In Life

  David Richo (2007). “The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know”, p.18, Shambhala Publications

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• Once we understand that what happens beyond our control may be just what we need, we see that acceptance of reality can be our way of participating in our own evolution.

  David Richo

  Acceptance, Reality, Needs

  David Richo (2008). “The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them”, p.20, Shambhala Publications

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• Spirituality is the intersection of three paths: letting go of ego, an unconditional yes to the conditions of human existence, and an immeasurable compassion.

  David Richo

  Letting Go, Compassion, Ego

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• What we are not changing, we are choosing.

  David Richo

  David Richo (2014). “How to Be an Adult: A Handbook on Psychological and Spiritual Integration”, p.43, Paulist Press

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• Most people think of love as a feeling, but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.

  David Richo

  Amor Es, Pensar, Gente

  David Richo (2008). “The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them”, p.179, Shambhala Publications

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• Humildad significa aceptar la realidad sin intentar superarla.

  David Richo

  Change, Mean, Humility

  David Richo (2008). “The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them”, p.91, Shambhala Publications

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• In the hero stories, the call to go on a journey takes the form of a loss, an error, a wound, an unexplainable longing, or a sense of a mission. When any of these happens to us, we are being summoned to make a transition. It will always mean leaving something behind,...The paradox here is that loss is a path to gain.

  David Richo

  Hero, Mean, Loss

  David Richo (2014). “How to Be an Adult: A Handbook on Psychological and Spiritual Integration”, p.17, Paulist Press

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• A healthy person is not perfect but perfectible, not a done deal but a work in progress. Staying healthy takes discipline, work, and patience, which is why our life is a journey and perforce a heroic one.

  David Richo

  Journey, Discipline, Perfect

  David Richo (2002). “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, p.13, Shambhala Publications

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• The foundation of adult trust is not “You will never hurt me.” It is “I trust myself with whatever you do.

  David Richo

  Hurt, Foundation, Adults

  David Richo (2011). “Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy”, p.14, Shambhala Publications

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• Trust in someone means that we no longer have to protect ourselves. We believe we will not be hurt or harmed by the other, at least not deliberately. We trust his or her good intentions, though we know we might be hurt by the way circumstances play out between us. We might say that hurt happens; it’s a given of life. Harm is inflicted; it’s a choice some people make.

  David Richo

  Hurt, Believe, Mean

  David Richo (2011). “Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy”, p.13, Shambhala Publications

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• The more invested I am in my own ideas about reality, the more those experiences will feel like victimizations rather than the ups and downs of relating. Actually, I believe that the less I conceptualize things that way, the more likely it is that people will want to stay by me, because they will not feel burdened, consciously or unconsciously, by my projections, judgments, entitlements, or unrealistic expectations.

  David Richo

  Believe, Reality, Ideas

  David Richo (2011). “Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy”, p.14, Shambhala Publications

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• We were born with four words engraved on our bodies and in our hearts: Love me, hold me.

  David Richo

  Heart, Body, Four

  David Richo (2014). “How to Be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing It Recklessly”, p.73, Shambhala Publications

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• Our higher needs include making full use of our gifts, finding and fulfilling our calling, being loved and cherished just for ourselves, and being in relationships that honor all of these. Such needs are fulfilled in an atmosphere of the five A’s by which love is shown: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing.

  David Richo

  Appreciation, Acceptance, Love Is

  David Richo (2011). “Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy”, p.22, Shambhala Publications

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• Mindfulness is an ancient meditation mode in which we let go of our fears, our attachments to control and being right, our expectations and entitlements, and our judgments of others. Instead of these popular strategies, we learn to simply stay present opening in the moment - with nothing in the way - so we can experience life as it occurs.

  David Richo

  Letting Go, Attachment, Expectations

  David Richo (2002). “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, p.11, Shambhala Publications

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• We do not live on the Earth, we are a part of how the Earth lives.

  David Richo

  Earth Life, Earth

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• Bread takes the effort of kneading but also requires sitting quietly while the dough rises with a power all its own.

  David Richo

  Effort, Sitting, Bread

  David Richo (2002). “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, p.13, Shambhala Publications

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• True optimism is not the prospect of control over pain or elimination of it but survival through it.

  David Richo

  Pain, Optimism, Survival

  David Richo (1999). “Shadow Dance”, p.39, Shambhala Publications

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• At every stage of life, our inner self requires the nurturance of loving people attuned to our feelings and responsive to our needs who can foster our inner resources of personal power, lovability, and serenity. Those who love us understand us and are available to us with an attention, appreciation, acceptance, and affection we can feel. They make room for us to be who we are.

  David Richo

  Appreciation, Acceptance, Self

  David Richo (2002). “How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving”, p.12, Shambhala Publications

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• Acceptance is approval, a word with a bad name in some psychologies. Yet it is perfectly normal to seek approval in childhood and throughout life. We require approval from those we respect. The kinship it creates lifts us to their level, a process referred to in self-psychology as transmuting internalization. Approval is a necessary component of self-esteem. It becomes a problem only when we give up our true self to find it. Then approval-seeking works against us.

  David Richo

  Giving Up, Self Esteem, Acceptance

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• There is a natural and inviolable tendency in things to bloom into whatever they truly are in the core of their being. All we have to do is align ourselves with what wants to happen naturally and put in the effort that is our part in helping it happen.

  David Richo

  Effort, Want, Helping

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• To be adult in relationship is not to be conflict-free, it's to resolve conflicts mindfully.

  David Richo

  Adults, Conflict, Resolve

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