Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

• You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Inspirational, Home, Redneck

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• Do you know why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder? 'Cause there's no dental records and all the DNA is the same.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Dna, Causes

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• You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call a day.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Might, Limits

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• You might be a redneck if you've ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said concentrate.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Orange Juice, Might

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• Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wife, Funny Marriage, Looks

  8 Copiar cita

• Si alguna vez empiezas a sentir que tienes la familia más tonta, loca y disfuncional del mundo, todo lo que tienes que hacer es ir a una feria estatal. Porque cinco minutos en la feria, estarás diciendo, 'sabes, estamos bien. Estamos muy cerca de la realeza.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Family, Feelings

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

  61 Copiar cita

• You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says Say No To Crack and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Jeans, Cracks

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• Puede que seas un paleto si para ir al baño necesitas zapatos y una linterna.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Shoes, Might

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• I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Amistad, Humor

  17 Copiar cita

• I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Real, Blue, Wife

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• Ver nacer a un bebé es un poco como ver entrar a un San Bernardo mojado por la puerta del gato.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Dog, Baby

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• You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Libro, Humor

  18 Copiar cita

• If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mean, Redneck, Thinking

  8 Copiar cita

• I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Song, Humor

  "The Tonight Show", March 27, 2007.

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• The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Jobs, Humor

  8 Copiar cita

• We sing about God because we believe in Him. We are not trying to offend anybody, but the evidence that we have seen of Him in our small little lives trumps your opinion about whether or not He exists.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Believe, Trying, Littles

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• Ojalá pudiera relacionarme con la gente con la que me relaciono.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  People, Wish, Reuniting

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• If your biggest tax deduction was bail money, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Bail, Might

  11 Copiar cita

• I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Tattoo, White, August

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road", www.imdb.com. 2006.

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• Puede que seas un paleto si tienes flores plantadas en un aparato de baño en tu jardín delantero.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Flower, Redneck, Yards

  9 Copiar cita

• If you think the last four words to the national anthem are " gentleman, start your engines", You might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Thinking, Gentleman

  5 Copiar cita

• If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

  8 Copiar cita

• Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt? You put on something from the cleaners, they're gonna spit up just like that. My wardrobe looks like we have condors living in our yard.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Bebé, Humor

  "You Might Be a Redneck If". Book by Jeff Foxworthy, 1993.

  15 Copiar cita

• You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Party, Moon, Office

  13 Copiar cita

• You can call us rednecks if you want. We're not offended, 'cause we know what we're all about. We get up and go to work, we get up and go to church, and we get up and go to war when necessary.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  War, Redneck, Church

  CMT Awards, 2007.

  8 Copiar cita

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