Larry the Cable Guy Quotes

• I was madder than a midget with a yo-yo

  Larry el chico del cable

  Enano

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• Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city
  5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Smart, New Orleans, Assessment

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• I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Parks, Tornadoes, Funny Redneck

  "FIctional character: Mater (voice)". "Cars" (Video Game), www.imdb.com. 2006.

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• Culpar a las armas de matar gente es como culpar a los lápices de la mala ortografía.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Gun, People, Blame

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• I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man, if it upsets you that much, quit countin' them!

  Larry el chico del cable

  Cousin, Men, Upset

  "Larry the Cable Guy: Morning Constitutions". Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2007.

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• El que ríe el último, piensa más despacio.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Thinking, Laughing, Lasts

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• Sometimes you've gotta wreck the truck to get the insurance money to make the payment on the truck.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Wrecks, Sometimes, Truck

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• I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Wine, Vegetables, Pounds

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• Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Cost, Bucks, Fireworks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Remember, half the people you know are below average.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Average, People, Hard Work Pays Off

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• I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Doctors, Office, Needs

  "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. June 15, 2011.

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• You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not supposed to hit him with a rolled-up newspaper?

  Larry el chico del cable

  Funny, Baby, Kids

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• Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is."

  Larry el chico del cable

  Funny, Boys, Needs

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• Guns don't kill people, husbands who come home early from work kill people

  Larry el chico del cable

  Husband, Home, Gun

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• I am called to love my neighbor, which I do. I can disagree with my neighbor about several things, but I'm not going to hate my neighbor. It's not up to me to hate anybody. It's not up to me to judge anyone. It's up to me to be nice, to be kind and to do everything I can to help somebody.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Hate, Nice, Judging

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

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• I'm saying, come on, the global warming thing? How did the ice melt during the ice ages? Was the dinosaurs driving SUVs around back then?

  Larry el chico del cable

  Ice, Age, Dinosaurs

  "Hannity" with Sean Hannity, www.foxnews.com. June 15, 2011.

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• If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Gun, People, Blame

  "Git-R-Done". Stand-up Comedy Album, 2003.

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• I disagree with a lot of things, but hey, what a person does is between them and their maker. I can disagree with somebody, and I can still be friends with them.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Doe, Hey, Makers

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

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• I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF HUMOR I HAVE. ALL THE STUFF I TALK ABOUT MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHURCH GROUPS HOWEVER WAL-MART AINT SUNDAY SCHOOL. AS LONG AS I DIDNT USE OFFENSIVE FOUL LANGUAGE I KNEW ID BE FINE. WAL-MART GETS IT, THATS WHY THEY BLOW AWAY THE COMPETITION. BESIDES ITS THERE STORE THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT. THATS AMERICA BABY!

  Larry el chico del cable

  Baby, School, Sunday

  Fuente: www.dead-frog.com

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• There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars."

  Larry el chico del cable

  Country, Redneck, Differences

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

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• I have thick skin. I'm not a baby. Nothing really offends me. If there's something I think might offend me, I don't listen to it.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Baby, Thinking, Skins

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

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• THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY ASS. IF THEY DONT LIKE MY POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THEN THEY CAN KEEP THEIR UPTIGHT P C ASS AWAY FROM MY SHOW. ITS THAT EASY.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Kissing, Political, Fans

  Fuente: www.dead-frog.com

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• I don't judge people by their accent, or how they word things, or how grammatically correct their speech is. Some of the smartest men in the world couldn't spell. I judge a person by their character.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Carácter, Hombres, Personas

  "Dan Whitney, a.k.a. Larry The Cable Guy". Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. August 30, 2011.

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• I know I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain, and I don't want to drop any F-bombs.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Names, Bombs, Want

  Fuente: smashinginterviews.com

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• THE FACT THAT MY DAD IS A PREACHER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING. HE PROBABLY WOULDN'T AGREE WITH SOME OF MY MATERIAL BUT THEN AGAIN THERE'S NO SIGN ON MY COMEDY EVENT THAT SAYS "REVIVAL HERE TONIGHT". IM SURE GOD HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN GO TO MY 8 OCLOCK OMAHA SHOW. THE SHOW IS THE SHOW AND CHURCH IS CHURCH.

  Larry el chico del cable

  Dad, Important, Church

  Fuente: www.dead-frog.com

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