Jeff Foxworthy Funny Quotes

• Ver nacer a un bebé es un poco como ver entrar a un San Bernardo mojado por la puerta del gato.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Perro, Bebé

• Si alguna vez empiezas a sentir que tienes la familia más tonta, loca y disfuncional del mundo, todo lo que tienes que hacer es ir a una feria estatal. Porque cinco minutos en la feria, estarás diciendo, 'sabes, estamos bien. Estamos muy cerca de la realeza.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Familia, Sentimientos

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

• Como soy cómico, la gente me cuenta cosas que no debería contarle a su terapeuta.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Gente

• Nunca he sentido celos. Ni siquiera cuando mi padre terminó quinto curso un año antes que yo.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Graduation, Jealousy

• No sé por qué mi cerebro se ha quedado con toda la letra del tema musical de La isla de Gilligan y ha borrado todo lo relacionado con los triángulos.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Canción, Humor

  "The Tonight Show", March 27, 2007.

• You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Redneck

  "You might be a redneck if". Book by Jeff Foxworthy, 1989.

• When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Dad, Humor

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “No Shirt, No Shoes...No Problem!”, Hyperion

• [about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Sexo, Humor

  "Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed". www.imdb.com. 1998.

• When you're young and you get to choose between sleep and sex you take sex everytime. You start getting older, you get to choose between sleep and sex, you choose sleep and just hope you have a dream about sex.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Dream, Sex

• Si tienes un juego completo de ensaladeras y en todas pone Kool Whip, puede que seas un paleto.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Redneck

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

• Si tienes una casa con ruedas y varios coches sin ellas, puede que seas un paleto.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Hogar, Humor

• Ladies have come up with all these expressions to reassure men. "Oh, honey, it's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean." That may be true, but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Océano, Humor

• Puede que seas un paleto si... el valor contable de tu camión sube y baja en función de la gasolina que lleve.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Libro, Humor

• Si tus vecinos creen que eres detective porque siempre te trae un policía a casa, puede que seas un paleto.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Hogar, Humor

• Mi mujer es muy analítica con la educación de los hijos, y yo no. Mi opinión es que si salen buenos, significa que he sido un buen padre y me he esforzado mucho. Si salen malos, significa que han salido a su lado de la familia.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Día del Padre, Humor

  FaceBook post by Jeff Foxworthy from Jun 25, 2012

• Please don't get me wrong here. I'm not making fun of old people. In fact I think that's the goal of everybody here tonite. We all want to be an old person someday.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humorístico, Pensamiento

• By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Church

  "Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed", www.imdb.com. 1998.

• It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Pensamiento

• The things that I'm talking about not knowing, they're not mysteries of the universe; it's just stuff I thought I would know by the time I was thirty-nine.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Knowing

  "Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed", www.imdb.com. 1998.

• That's just something instinctual within men. We always feel like we've got to protect our stuff. Even if it's not worth protecting, we want to protect it. You ever seen people who have like a piece of crap Pinto with a Club on the steering wheel. Somebody breaks the window, steals the Club, leaves the Pinto in a pile of glass.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Hombres

  "Jeff Foxworthy: Totally Committed", www.imdb.com. 1998.

• Si tu idea de una comida de 7 platos es un cubo de KFC y un sixpack, puede que seas un paleto.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Redneck

• You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Dar

• You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Diapers

• Si alguna vez un ventilador de techo le ha estropeado el peinado a tu mujer, puede que seas un paleto.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Humor, Redneck

• ¿Sabías que a los bebés les da náuseas el olor de una camisa limpia? Si les pones algo de la tintorería, vomitarán sin más. Mi armario parece como si tuviéramos cóndores viviendo en nuestro patio.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Divertido, Bebé, Humor

  "You Might Be a Redneck If". Book by Jeff Foxworthy, 1993.

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