Elayne Boosler Quotes - Page 2

• I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?

  Elayne Boosler

  Basketball, Years, Games

  17 Copiar cita

• Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.

  Elayne Boosler

  Reading, Topics, Sides

  "Yuo Cant Take Away My Gun Rites, Idiott" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. January 13, 2011.

  6 Copiar cita

• He leído libros que dicen que si quieres mantener el sexo caliente le digas a una persona lo que quieres. ¿Cómo le dices que quieres a otra persona?

  Elayne Boosler

  Sex, Book, Hot

  9 Copiar cita

• Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

  Elayne Boosler

  Giving Money, Hiv, Television

  9 Copiar cita

• La gente quiere que la educación sexual desaparezca de las escuelas. Creen que la educación sexual causa promiscuidad. Oye, yo tomé álgebra, pero nunca hago matemáticas.

  Elayne Boosler

  Sex, Believe, School

  14 Copiar cita

• I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.

  Elayne Boosler

  Thinking, People, Get Away

  7 Copiar cita

• As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

  Elayne Boosler

  New Year, Night, Years

  "Elayne Boosler Maps Comedy Heaven And Hell On New Year’s Eve" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 6, 2011.

  5 Copiar cita

• When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

  Elayne Boosler

  Divertido, ingenioso, inteligente

  9 Copiar cita

• ¿Te has dado cuenta de que Soup for One está a ocho pasillos de Party Mix?

  Elayne Boosler

  Divertido, Ingenioso, Mujeres

  22 Copiar cita

• I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.

  Elayne Boosler

  Mother, Women, Home

  5 Copiar cita

• Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.

  Elayne Boosler

  Sports, Blood, America

  16 Copiar cita

• We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.

  Elayne Boosler

  Thinking, Drawing, Cartoon

  "You Didn’t Hear the One About..." by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. October 4, 2010.

  5 Copiar cita

• Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch. By taking a more positive, heartwarming approach to animal rescue, I've been able to engage people and keep them engaged for years. Instead of selling the agony and misery - and sadly, there is no shortage of that - I start with the happy endings. I work backwards so the first message they get is joy and success due to their involvement. Opening the mind with humor and joy gets the rescue message in that much deeper.

  Elayne Boosler

  Animal, Average, Years

  5 Copiar cita

• For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.

  Elayne Boosler

  Comedy, Newspapers, Minutes

  7 Copiar cita

• Creo que cuando te quites esa chaqueta y vean esa camiseta de 'I LOVE GRANDMA', te van a arrancar el corazón.

  Elayne Boosler

  Rip, Grandma, Heart

  5 Copiar cita

• I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.

  Elayne Boosler

  Weekend, People, Parent

  15 Copiar cita

• You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.

  Elayne Boosler

  Love, Numbers, Machines

  8 Copiar cita

• I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.

  Elayne Boosler

  Artist, People, Matter

  "Top 5 Things I'm Thankful for" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 24, 2010.

  9 Copiar cita

• Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.

  Elayne Boosler

  Party, Animal, Credit

  "Yes, Animals Were Harmed in the Making of This Motion Picture" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. March 27, 2012.

  6 Copiar cita

• Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could see callers' breath coming out of my phone.

  Elayne Boosler

  New Year, Winning, Phones

  5 Copiar cita

• I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

  Elayne Boosler

  Funny, Inspiring, Women

  30 Copiar cita

• My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.

  Elayne Boosler

  Gun, Thinking, America

  "Yuo Cant Take Away My Gun Rites, Idiott" by Elayne Boosler, www.huffingtonpost.com. January 13, 2011.

  8 Copiar cita

• Cuando las mujeres están deprimidas, comen o van de compras.

  Elayne Boosler

  Shopping, Black Friday, Groceries

  52 Copiar cita

• Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.

  Elayne Boosler

  Inspirational, Hair, Ems

  5 Copiar cita

• You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.

  Elayne Boosler

  Dog, Tails, Steps

  5 Copiar cita

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