Wendy Liebman Quotes

• I go running when I have to. When the ice cream truck is doing sixty.

  Wendy Liebman

  Running, Ice Cream, Truck

  46 Copiar cita

• My mother always said don't marry for money, divorce for money.

  Wendy Liebman

  Funny, Mother, Witty

  17 Copiar cita

• My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

  Wendy Liebman

  Funny, Hilarious, Husband

  21 Copiar cita

• I went to the 30th reunion of my preschool. I didn't want to go, because I've put on like a hundred pounds.

  Wendy Liebman

  Psychics, Empowerment, Want

  8 Copiar cita

• My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

  Wendy Liebman

  Divertido, Mamá, Madre

  7 Copiar cita

• He estado en tantas citas a ciegas, que debería tener un perro gratis.

  Wendy Liebman

  Funny, Dog, Witty

  68 Copiar cita

• The only way to really have safe sex is to abstain. From drinking.

  Wendy Liebman

  Sex, Drinking, Safe

  8 Copiar cita

• I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?

  Wendy Liebman

  Mother, Memorable, Cat

  10 Copiar cita

• I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff.

  Wendy Liebman

  Funny Marriage, Kitchen, Needs

  4 Copiar cita

• I just got my first bikini. It's a three-piece: a top, a botton, and a blindfold for you.

  Wendy Liebman

  Clothes, Three, Pieces

  10 Copiar cita

• Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you.

  Wendy Liebman

  Doctors, House, Parent

  9 Copiar cita

• I think there have always been funny women, from Carol Burnett to Joan Rivers. When the audience sees a woman, they innately know she's worked twice as hard to get there, she's had to prove that she can be the leader, first, and then be funny on top of it. She has to emit a confidence that she's in control.

  Wendy Liebman

  Thinking, Rivers, Leader

  9 Copiar cita

• I don't like to channel surf. You guys like it, don't you. You guys like to change the channel. We like to change you.

  Wendy Liebman

  Funny, Guy, Television

  5 Copiar cita

• I get my sense of humor from my parents. That's why they don't have one anymore.

  Wendy Liebman

  Parent, Sense Of Humor

  5 Copiar cita

• In addition to comedy, I'm a writer. I write checks. They're not very good.

  Wendy Liebman

  Writing, Comedy, Checks

  5 Copiar cita

• I've been pitching a show of five female stand-up comedians through the generations, from Phyllis Diller to Amy Schumer, so when I got an e-mail asking me if I would participate in the Women in Comedy Festival, I was thrilled.

  Wendy Liebman

  Comedian, Festivals, Mail

  4 Copiar cita

• I took an acting class. After the first day, the teacher quit, so they said take another. When I saw 'How to be a Stand-up Comedian,' it resonated. I realized I'd rather make 200 people laugh than make one person cry.

  Wendy Liebman

  Teacher, Class, People

  6 Copiar cita

• Creo que no fui gracioso hasta la universidad. Vivía con unos estudiantes de doctorado de Harvard, que eran muy listos, y lo que yo aportaba a la casa era que yo era la graciosa.

  Wendy Liebman

  Inteligente, Universidad, Pensamiento

  5 Copiar cita

• La gente siempre se me acerca y me dice que les molesta que fume....¡pues me está matando!

  Wendy Liebman

  Marijuana, Bothering You, People

  19 Copiar cita

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