David Letterman Quotes About Surgery

• This Osama bin Laden, now they say he has had plastic surgery. They say he sneaked across the border into Pakistan, which by the way is the place to go to have plastic surgery. He looks great. A tourist came up to him earlier this week and said, 'May I have your autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

  David Letterman

  Tourists, Borders, Looks

• After my bypass surgery I knew I had to change my lifestyle, and then it occured to me - I don't have a lifestyle.

  David Letterman

  Change, Bypass, Lifestyle

• This isn't brain surgery; it's just television.

  David Letterman

  Brain, Television, Surgery

• While I was gone, I had quintuple bypass surgery on my heart. Plus, I got a haircut.

  David Letterman

  Heart, Gone, Bypass

  "atest Track of What is Now Tropical Depression Frances". "CNN Live At Daybreak", www.cnn.com. September 7, 2004.

• Mañana hace quince años me operaron a corazón abierto, un bypass quíntuple. Gracias a todos mis médicos. Gracias a ellos, en 15 años de vida he podido experimentar, bueno, reflujo ácido, pérdida de memoria a corto plazo y disfunción eréctil. Gracias por todo su trabajo. Es estupendo estar vivo.

  David Letterman

  Memories, Heart, Loss

• There's a rumor that President George Bush had a nose job, that he had some kind of plastic surgery, that he actually had a nose job. If this is true, that's the first new job he's created since taking office.

  David Letterman

  Jobs, Office, Rumor

• John Kerry had surgery on his right shoulder this week to repair some damage. It was pretty bad, he had no feeling. It was almost like he was a Republican.

  David Letterman

  Feelings, Damage, Republican

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