John Oliver Quotes - Page 5

• When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance.

  John Oliver

  Trying, Dignity, Ends

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• If you vote for Democrats, you might as well give Al Quaeda a death ray and a manual.

  John Oliver

  Giving, Might, Als

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• Veterans' issues are quite close to my heart. I find it quite hard to talk about, actually.

  John Oliver

  Heart, Issues, Veteran

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• I know I'd be an absolutely horrendous politician.

  John Oliver

  Politician, Knows

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• When you're doing stand-up, you want to stand onstage and, to the extent that you can, uncomplicatedly entertain.

  John Oliver

  Desea

  Interview with Jason Zabel, www.avclub.com. September 22, 2011.

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• I don't know if there is some psychological thing of wanting to know where your doctor got his degree from before he comes into the medical room.

  John Oliver

  Doctors, Degrees, Rooms

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

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• People in Britain see Richard Quest as a kind of an offensive cartoon character.

  John Oliver

  Character, People, Cartoon

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• Adolescentes cayéndose del monopatín - divertido. Golpes de tuerca - divertido. Romper el viento - divertido. El mundo no puede cambiar eso. Esas tres cosas son las columnas sobre las que se construye el humor.

  John Oliver

  Teenager, Fall, Wind

  "John Oliver On Facts, Donald Trump And The Supreme Court For Dogs". Interview with Steve Inskeep, ijpr.org. February 10, 2017.

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• By any rational metric, I am boring.

  John Oliver

  Metrics, Boring, Rational

  Fuente: www.npr.org

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• I was definitely prepared for it to be slower, and it has not worked out that way in any shape or form. I'm grateful as a comedian, and slightly demoralized, occasionally, as a human being - those two things are always very different.

  John Oliver

  Grateful, Two, Comedian

  Fuente: www.wbur.org

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• I do not want to leave in [U.S.] ... I cannot make that clear enough to immigration authorities who may be listening to this interview. I don't want to leave, so please don't make me.

  John Oliver

  Listening, Interviews, Immigration

  Fuente: www.wbur.org

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• Do you know how hard it is to kill 30 million people? It's a logistical nightmare.

  John Oliver

  People, Nightmare, Know How

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• I think it might honestly be time for the Sunshine State to officially change its motto to the Worst State.

  John Oliver

  Sunshine, Thinking, Might

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• It really helps a comedian to be an outsider.

  John Oliver

  Comedian, Outsiders, Helping

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• Whatever the occasion, [the Queen] has a face which demonstrably says 'I don't give a royal s**t.'

  John Oliver

  Queens, Giving, Faces

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• Attending a Sarah Palin rally was simultaneously one of the strangest and most chilling events of my life.

  John Oliver

  Events, Chill, Palin

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• I really love stand-up. I'm more than happy to do it for nothing. I've come to America to do it for nothing. It's the American Dream: Work for free.

  John Oliver

  Dream, America, American Dream

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• The British press are a group of unremitting scumbags. And sometimes they use that scumbaggery to good ends, and often not.

  John Oliver

  Groups, Use, Scumbags

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• Politicians don't really bring up religion in England.

  John Oliver

  England, Politician

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• There are two kinds of hecklers: the destructive and constructive hecklers.

  John Oliver

  Two, Hecklers, Kind

  Interview with Christopher Kompanek, tv.avclub.com. April 7, 2011.

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• I've always been interested in socially political, or overtly political, comedy.

  John Oliver

  Political, Comedy

  "John Oliver is still kind of baffled by America". Interview with Steve Heisler, www.avclub.com. July 19, 2012.

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• Wow. Losing 95 percent of your audience in just five years. That basically makes Obama the NBC of presidents.

  John Oliver

  Nbc, Years, President

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• I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show', I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson.

  John Oliver

  Trying, Actors, Authority

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• I feel non-stop Brit shame!

  John Oliver

  Shame, Feels, Non Stop

  "A very funny Englishman in New York". Interview with Hermione Hoby, www.theguardian.com. July 23, 2011.

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• I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

  John Oliver

  Laughing, Comedian, Sound

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