Marya Hornbacher Quotes - Page 2

• I have not lost my fascination with death. I have not become a noticeably less intense person. I have not, nor will I ever, completely lose the longing for that something, that thing that I believe will fill an emptiness inside me. I do believe that the emptiness was made greater by the things that I did to myself.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Believe, Fascination, Emptiness

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• Si hubiera sido una persona diferente, tal vez menos impresionable, menos intensa, menos temerosa, menos dependiente de las percepciones de los demás, tal vez no me habría tragado el cuento cultural de que la delgadez es el fin de todos los objetivos. Tal vez si mi familia no hubiera sido un caos la mayor parte del tiempo, tal vez si mis padres hubieran sido un poco mejores a la hora de enfrentarse a sus propias vidas, tal vez si hubiera buscado ayuda antes, o si hubiera recibido una ayuda diferente, tal vez si no hubiera guardado tan ferozmente mi secreto, o si no hubiera mentido tan bien, o si no estuviera tan vacía por dentro... tal vez.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Mentirosos, Fiesta, Objetivo

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• Algunas personas obsesionadas con la comida se convierten en chefs gourmet. Otros se convierten en desórdenes alimenticios.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Food, People, Eating Disorder

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• Madness will push you anywhere it wants. It never tells you where you're going, or why. It tells you it doesn't matter. It persuades you. It dangles something sparkly before you, shimmering like that water patch on the road up ahead. You will drive until you find it, the treasure, the thing you most desire. You will never find it. Madness may mock you so long you will die of the search. Or it will tire of you, turn its back, oblivious as you go flying. The car is beside you, smoking, belly-up, still spinning its wheels.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Car, Long, Water

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.114, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• [Aprendí... que los amigos son una buena fuente de alimento y de alma cuando uno aún no le ha cogido el truco a cocinar o a vivir (en lugar de morir) solo. Que nada -ni la bebida, ni el amor, ni el sexo, ni el trabajo, ni mudarse de un estado a otro- hará desaparecer el pasado. Sólo el tiempo y la paciencia curan las cosas. Aprendí que cortarse los brazos para intentar que el dolor pase del interior al exterior, del alma a la piel, es inútil. Que la muerte es una excusa. Probé todas estas cosas.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Depression, Sex, Pain

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• Te despiertas una mañana y ahí está, sentada en un viejo albornoz a cuadros en tu cocina, desagradable y sin afeitar. La miras y se te hunde el corazón. La locura es un huésped podrido.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Mañana, Corazón, Cocina

  Marya Hornbacher (2008). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.266, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• You will miss her sometimes. Bear in mind she's trying to kill you. Bear in mind you have a life to live.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Missing, Anorexia, Mind

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• People take the feeling of full for granted.

  Marya Hornbacher

  People, Feelings, Granted

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• All of us have theories about the world and about ourselves. We will go to great lengths to prove ourselves right because it keeps the world in our head coherent and understandable.

  Marya Hornbacher

  World, Length, Theory

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• And yet you are all that you have, so you must be enough. There is no other way.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Way, Enough

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• In that six months, so much happened that death seemed, primarily, inconvenient. The trial period was extended. I seem to keep extending it. There are many things to do. There are books to write and naps to take. There are movies to see and scrambled eggs to eat. Life is essentially trivial. You either decide you will take the trite business of life and give yourself the option of doing something really cool, or you decide you will opt for the Grand Epic of eating disorders and dedicate your life to being seriously trivial.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Libro, Escritura, Épica

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• Bear in mind, people with eating disorders tend to be both competitive and intelligent. We are incredibly perfectionistic. We often excel in school,athletics,artistic pursuits. We also tend to quit without warning. Refuse to go to school,drop out,quit jobs,leave lovers,move,lose all our money. We get sick of being impressive. Rather,we tire of having to seem impressive. As a rule,most of us never really believed we were any good in the first place.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Jobs, Moving, School

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• You never come back, not all the way. Always there is an odd distance between you and the people you love and the people you meet, a barrier thin as the glass of a mirror, you never come all the way out of the mirror; you stand, for the rest of your life, with one foot in this world and no one in another, where everything is upside down and backward and sad.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Suicide, Distance, Self Harm

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• This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. When you eat and hate that you eat. And yet of course you must eat. You don’t really entertain the notion of going back. You, with some startling new level of clarity, realize that going back would be far worse than simply being as you are. This is obvious to anyone without an eating disorder. This is not always obvious to you.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Hate, Eating Disorder, Would Be

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• Tengo un tipo de bipolaridad que oscila entre altibajos durante todo el día. Hay cambios de humor significativos en un día, en una semana, en un mes. Tengo al menos cuatro episodios importantes al año. Esa es realmente la definición de ciclo rápido bipolar. Pero yo tengo ultra-rápido, así que tengo pequeños episodios todo el día.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Swings, Years, Long

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• The joy is an absurd yellow tulip, popping up in my life, contradicting all the evidence that shows it should not be there.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Yellow, Joy, Contradicting

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.248, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• But in some ways, the most significant choices one makes in life are done for reasons that are not all that dramatic, not earth-shaking at all; often enough, the choices we make are, for better or for worse, made by default.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Choices, Done, Earth

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• There is, in the end, the letting go.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Letting Go, Chaos, Ends

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• El hambre es increíblemente aterradora cuando finalmente se establece con una venganza. Y cuando lo hace, te sorprendes. No lo habías pensado. Usted dice: Espera, esto no. Y entonces te absorbe y te ahogas.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Waiting, Doe, Vengeance

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• I grew into it. It grew into me. It and I blurred at the edges, became one amorphous, seeping, crawling thing.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Crawling, Grew, Edges

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.7, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• I do have faith. I don't have faith that a God exists, nor do I have faith that one does not; I have absolute faith that I do not know, cannot know, am only human, am an infinitesimal creature packed onto a cramped planet crowded with seven billion bodies, and as many yearning hearts, and as many questioning minds.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Corazón, Mente, Doe

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• No recuerdo muchas cosas de adentro hacia afuera. No recuerdo qué se sentía al tocar las cosas, ni cómo el agua del baño recorría mi piel. No me gustaba que me tocaran, pero era una aversión extraña. No me gustaba que me tocaran porque lo deseaba demasiado. Quería que me abrazaran muy fuerte para no romperme. Incluso ahora, cuando la gente se inclina para tocarme, o me abraza, o me pone una mano en el hombro, contengo la respiración. Giro la cara. Quiero llorar.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Hands, Break Even, People

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia”, p.17, Harper Collins

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• After a lifetime of silence, it is difficult then to speak.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Silence, Speak, Lifetime

  "Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia". Book by Marya Hornbacher, 1998.

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• My brain sometimes departs from the agreed-upon reality, and my private reality is a very lonely place. But in the end, I'm not sure I wish I'd never gone there.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Lonely, Reality, Brain

  Marya Hornbacher (2008). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.326, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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• But new love only lasts so long, and then you crash back into the real people you are, and from as high as we were, it's a very long fall, and we hit the ground with a thud.

  Marya Hornbacher

  Real, Fall, Long

  Marya Hornbacher (2009). “Madness: A Bipolar Life”, p.101, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

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