Brad Stine Quotes

• There's a difference between maliciously offending somebody - on purpose - and somebody being offended by...truth. If you're offended by the truth, that's your problem. I have no obligation to not offend you if I'm speaking the truth. The truth is supposed to offend you; that's how you know you don't got it.

  Brad Stine

  Truth, Differences, Knowing

  41 Copiar cita

• Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?

  Brad Stine

  Believe, Guy, Irrational

  Brad Stine (2006). “Live from Middle America: Rants from a Red-State Comedian”, Hudson st Press

  24 Copiar cita

• If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong... you'll know forever.

  Brad Stine

  Forever, There Is No God, Eternal

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• When did banning anything, ever work? I mean, we banned liquor once in this country, oh, that worked like a charm, didn't it, folks? You couldn't find a drink in the roaring 20's, could ya? See that's the problem with the banning thing! I say why stop there, let's not ban guns, I know, let's ban crime!

  Brad Stine

  Country, Mean, Gun

  23 Copiar cita

• Get out of our schools God, get out of our textbooks God, get out of our government God, go away God, go away God, go away God, Katrina hits, God, where are you?

  Brad Stine

  School, Government, Going Away

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• If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs.

  Brad Stine

  Belief, Conflict, Ifs

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• The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, that's their issue!

  Brad Stine

  Issues, Political, Care

  12 Copiar cita

• You want to reclaim your country? You got to go back to the first men who started this country, the founding fathers and this is going to be shocking for the liberal professors out there that are indoctrinating our kids but the founding fathers believed in the Judeo-Christian god that believed we have life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness! You can pursuit it. If you don't get it, it's your fault! You messed up. Go back to work. Work harder.

  Brad Stine

  Happiness, Christian, Country

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• The wussification of America is killing us by teaching us to censor ourselves from what we believe. That's why I want to see political correctness die in my lifetime, but first... I want to watch it suffer.

  Brad Stine

  Teaching, Believe, America

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• If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma.

  Brad Stine

  Atheism, Crutches, Coma

  11 Copiar cita

• I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing words correctly.

  Brad Stine

  Two, Suffering, Scared

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• I don't hate cats...as long as they stay on the freeway, where they belong.

  Brad Stine

  Hate, Cat, Long

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• Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your masculine side - I'm not interested.

  Brad Stine

  Women, Sides, Way

  11 Copiar cita

• We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.

  Brad Stine

  Hurt, Phones, Should Have

  18 Copiar cita

• You know what offends me? Offended people. In a country with guaranteed rights to freedom of religion, its citizens are constantly trying to make faith in public spheres illegal, I am offended by that contradiction and want to talk about it as a comic.

  Brad Stine

  Country, Rights, People

  7 Copiar cita

• The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it.

  Brad Stine

  Hurt, Truth, Truth Is

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• Comedy, if it's done well, can reflect the mood of a nation. It can be a mirror to who we are, what we believe in, what we are like.

  Brad Stine

  Believe, Mirrors, Done

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• Conservative concepts believe in little government - take care of yourself, and that makes men who invent things like the constitution! Liberal thought has big government - we'll take care of you - and that creates boys and they create things like Occupy Wall Street! There's a difference between the way men and boys behave.

  Brad Stine

  Wall, Believe, Boys

  5 Copiar cita

• God is a crutch? Yeah, well, not believing in God is a coma.

  Brad Stine

  Believe, Yeah, Crutches

  6 Copiar cita

• If you can't say something nice... about an overrated, ungrateful European nation that would have been wiped off the face of the earth twice in the twentieth century if it weren't for the United States and which has given nothing to the culture in the past two hundred years but whine and cheese, both of which are made better in California, then don't say anything at all!

  Brad Stine

  Nice, Past, Years

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• People don't realize, or maybe they've forgotten, that there was a time in history when standup comedy wasn't something that you had to hide your kids' ears from.

  Brad Stine

  Kids, People, Ears

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• Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem.

  Brad Stine

  Self Esteem, Purpose, Matter

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• Espero que nada me lleve a negar mis creencias personales. A los mininos con el cerebro lavado se les ha enseñado que defender tu punto de vista personal te convierte en un odioso de mente cerrada. También hay que ser respetuoso con las creencias discrepantes sin dejar de apoyar las propias.

  Brad Stine

  Hate, Views, Taught

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• I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him.

  Brad Stine

  Missing, Shows, Knows

  4 Copiar cita

• You're not a bunch of people lock-stepped with the politically correct. Oh no! Don't shoot the animals! They might get their feelings hurt!

  Brad Stine

  Hurt, Animal, People

  4 Copiar cita

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