Amy Schumer Quotes - Page 3

• I feel like you know what you're going to be good at when you're older based on what you like when you're younger. When I was younger my best friend was Tony, this kid Tony, and he loved rocks. He was always playing with rocks, counting them, and now he's a crack head.

  Amy Schumer

  Kids, Rocks, My Best Friend

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• You shoot saltwater in your ass?

  Amy Schumer

  Culo

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• I'll never forget the day I realized I wasn't quite the Ford model I thought I was.

  Amy Schumer

  Never Forget, Forget, I Realized

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I'm so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and the other day, he's like, 'Amy, why are you so shy? You know, you have a beautiful body.' I was like, 'Oh my god, you're so cute. You think I don't want you to see me?'

  Amy Schumer

  Cute, Beautiful, Thinking

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• It was the best night of my life, getting to dance on stage with Madonna!

  Amy Schumer

  Night, Best Night Of My Life, Best Night

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• Let's all just follow the lead of Glamour, and join forces and lift each other up.

  Amy Schumer

  Glamour, Force, Lifts

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• I want to keep working really hard at getting better at stand-up and touring, and I can't imagine a time when I won't want to do that. But, who knows?

  Amy Schumer

  Get Better, Want, Imagine

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

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• I have gotten death threats - that was scary. But it just made me want to use my voice more.

  Amy Schumer

  Scary, Threat

  Fuente: www.glamour.com

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• I care about what the people I care about think about me. It's a short list, but I really care about what those people think.

  Amy Schumer

  Pensamiento, Personas, Cuidado

  Fuente: www.glamour.com

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• I was actually on two reality shows, which is crazy. Just to think that, out there, there was some guy, like flipping through the channels, being like, 'Hey, I 69'd her on a cruise ship.

  Amy Schumer

  Crazy, Reality, Thinking

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• I've always been really dark, and drawn to darker humor. Nothing has been forced, and I don't say anything for shock value.

  Amy Schumer

  Dark, Say Anything, Shock

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

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• I like to create stuff. I like to express myself through jokes.

  Amy Schumer

  Stuff I Like, Stuff, Jokes

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I tend to eat pretty healthy, though, and I work out - I work out hard.

  Amy Schumer

  Work Out, Healthy, Hard

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.

  Amy Schumer

  Hard Work, Way, Comedy

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• I asked for a glass of Chardonnay. And in a 9/11-like twist, they didn't have any. They offered me Pinot.

  Amy Schumer

  Glasses, Twists, Chardonnay

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• My background is in theater. I was a theater major in college.

  Amy Schumer

  College, Theater, Backgrounds

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Ahora todos los idiotas del instituto dicen: "¡He vuelto!". No se suponía que volviéramos a vernos. Deja de pincharme e invitarme a tus extrañas fiestas de vampiros. No, no quiero seguirte en Twatter. No le interesas a nadie. No quiero verte en la vida real, ¿por qué querría seguirte en la imaginaria?

  Amy Schumer

  Real, Party, School

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• I understand why so many female comics quit or change their path, because it is hard. It's hard to be a comedian, and people have so much aggression towards women. I don't really know where that comes from, but I feel a total responsibility, and I'm gonna do my part, to continue on the path that I'm on.

  Amy Schumer

  Responsibility, People, Comedian

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

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• Stand-up is not something that you're good at right away. You have to do it a ton. But, I think I got to shave a year off because I didn't have to get over stage fright.

  Amy Schumer

  Thinking, Years, Stage

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

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• My mom is very good at being passive-aggressive, and my Dad is a total wiseass, so I think the mixture of the two of them is my comedy. But, I am definitely the first comedian in my family.

  Amy Schumer

  Mamá, papá, pensar

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

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• Whatever the joke is has to be funny, and not coming from a mean-spirited place. I think some things are totally off limits. If someone's spouse died, or one of their children, I would never joke about that in a Roast situation. I don't have any aspirations towards writing any cancer jokes, and there's some stuff that I think is definitely taboo.

  Amy Schumer

  Children, Cancer, Writing

  Interview with Drew Fortune, www.avclub.com. April 26, 2012.

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• I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all.

  Amy Schumer

  Competition, Vets, Might

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

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• I only met Joan Rivers once. But when she passed away, it felt like a part of me went away, too.

  Amy Schumer

  Rivers, Passed Away, Mets

  "Amy Schumer: What I've Learned" by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. January 14, 2015.

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• I hope that the next time you go to a concert, the band doesn't play the song you wanna hear! And instead, they just play songs off their new album!

  Amy Schumer

  Song, Play, Albums

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• La verdad es que, con quienquiera que haya salido, si alguna vez he querido hablar de él en el escenario, le he preguntado primero, y he obtenido su permiso para contar una historia o hablar de él antes de hacerlo.

  Amy Schumer

  Stories, Firsts, Truth Is

  "Play Ball! Comedian Amy Schumer Plays Not My Job". "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" with Peter Sagal, www.npr.org. April 4, 2014.

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