Christian Finnegan Quotes

• I hope that if I ever disappear, people don't look for me based on the last websites I visited. Kind of an awkward press conference for my parents. Officer, do you have any leads? Well, based on Mr. Finnegan's computer entries, we think he was abducted by Sorority Sluts.

  Christian Finnegan

  Pensar, Personas, Padres

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• Pimp stands for Positive Intellectual Motivated Person. It has nothing to do with selling sex for money.

  Christian Finnegan

  Sex, Pimp, Intellectual

  "Best Week Ever", www.imdb.com. (2004-).

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• What is the point of a car alarm if it doesn't get people out of their beds to come help you? So if I ever have a car alarm - if I ever have a car - it's just going to be a big speaker on the back of my car. And when anybody tries to break in, it's just gonna go: Attention! Free bags of weed! Come get your free bags of weed!

  Christian Finnegan

  Weed, People, Car

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• The thing is - I'm not an idiot. I'm rather intelligent, as proven by the fact that I just used the word 'rather' in a sentence.

  Christian Finnegan

  Intelligent, Intelligence, Facts

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• Michael Jackson's charity efforts? Mmm. I'm sure they have nothing to do with his molestation charges.

  Christian Finnegan

  Effort, Charity, Molestation

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• Canada, or as i call them, America Light.

  Christian Finnegan

  Light, America, Canada

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• Rara vez se oye a alguien utilizar la palabra páncreas en un contexto que no sea horrible.

  Christian Finnegan

  Use, Pancreas, Horrible

  FaceBook post by Christian Finnegan from Aug 12, 2013

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• If you refuse to see Superman Returns this summer, what you're saying about yourself is: I heart Al Qaeda.

  Christian Finnegan

  Summer, Heart, Als

  "Best Week Ever with Paul F. Tompkins". TV Series, www.imdb.com.

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• America may be entering it’s Michael Jordan on the Wizards period.

  Christian Finnegan

  America, Entering, Wizards

  "Christian Finnegan Delighted America Is Going Downhill". www.huffingtonpost.com. November 15, 2011.

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• I'm working on something a little different. It's a technique I call, 'tantric abstinence.' Now, the way this works is I meet a woman, I charm the heck out of her, and then right as she's considering sleeping with me, I say something so awkward that she leaves and I have to start over again with another woman entirely.

  Christian Finnegan

  Sleep, Starting Over, Awkward

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• I used to play bass for a while and got to the point where I was good enough to be in a shitty band.

  Christian Finnegan

  Play, Band, Bass

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• There comes a point where the disappointments in your life accrue faster than you can find external forces to blame them on.

  Christian Finnegan

  Disappointment, Blame, External Forces

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• What people really want is not to make something funny, but to make something amusing - which, in many ways, is the opposite of funny. To amuse someone is to eliminate discomfort and awkwardness, kind of like a massage for the brain, while to be funny is to point out awkwardness and discomfort. Everyone thinks they want funny, but they really want amusement.

  Christian Finnegan

  Pensamiento, Opuestos, Personas

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• Basically, I got into stand-up because I'm too egocentric to be an actor and not disciplined enough to be a writer.

  Christian Finnegan

  Actors, Enough, Egocentric

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• There are two kinds of intelligence in this world. People who are Monopoly smart and people who are Trivial Pursuit smart... If you're starting your own business, don't even talk to me. But If you need to know who the lead singer of Kajagoogoo is, I'm your guy. His name is Limahl, by the way.

  Christian Finnegan

  Smart, Names, Two

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• You know what I'm great at? Trivial Pursuit. What good is that gonna do you in life? It has the word 'trivial' in the name. The game is basically telling you that you pursue trivial things. Trivial - as in not important. Trivial - as in maybe you should've gone to grad school.

  Christian Finnegan

  School, Games, Names

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• I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink that way.

  Christian Finnegan

  Way, Drink, Alcoholics

  FaceBook post by Christian Finnegan from Jun 26, 2013

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• I haven't had a drink in twelve days and I've gotta say, I'm pretty shocked at how boring people are.

  Christian Finnegan

  People, Twelve, Boring

  FaceBook post by Christian Finnegan from Aug 11, 2013

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• I was told by a physician to avoid any line of work where people need to, um, depend on me for anything.

  Christian Finnegan

  People, Physicians, Needs

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• Do you guys remember that woman who disappeared a few years ago, Chandra Levy? Do you remember her? I found this fascinating. Apparently, the day she disappeared, she had gone on her computer, and the last website she ever visited was an online map of the park where her body was found. That's true. I just hope that if I ever disappear, people don't look for me based on the last websites I visited.

  Christian Finnegan

  Years, People, Guy

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• Of course, the world is different now. There's a glut of comedians with specials, so it's just not possible to make an impact the way Bill Cosby: Himself did. It's like, The Beatles were amazing, but it also helped that not many bands were putting out albums then.

  Christian Finnegan

  Comedian, Different, World

  Fuente: www.avclub.com

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• Do me a favor, guys. Don't drink so much that you become the guy that goes into the bathroom and moans while taking a leak. See, the women in the room, they might not know what we're talking about; every dude knows.

  Christian Finnegan

  Talking, Guy, Favors

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• The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

  Christian Finnegan

  Odio, Política

  "Think Sits Down With Comedian Christian Finnegan". The Stony Brook Press Interview, sbpress.com. September 12, 2010.

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• Sin duda creo que gran parte de la comedia proviene de la incomodidad y la vergüenza, de señalar las formas en que las cosas son incómodas. Son cosas que me interesan. No creo necesariamente que la comedia provenga de un lugar oscuro, como si tuvieras que ser un heroinómano empedernido. Pero no creo que provenga de la felicidad, eso está claro. Proviene de la frustración y de la rabia reprimida, y de desear que el mundo fuera diferente.

  Christian Finnegan

  Happiness, Believe, Dark

  Interview with Sean O'Neal, tv.avclub.com. June 17, 2009.

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• Jesus is a powerful guy in Hollywood. Not quite as powerful as Vin Diesel, but powerful.

  Christian Finnegan

  Jesus, Powerful, Guy

  "Best Week Ever". www.imdb.com. 2004.

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