Aziz Ansari Quotes

• When I'm dating someone, I have a list called my 'Oh No Nos.' If a woman commits a Oh No No, it can end the relationship. Not loving '90s R&B music is #3 on the Oh No Nos list. Girl don't
  even know who Ginuwine is.

  Aziz Ansari

  Girl, Dating Someone, Lists

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• 

  Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

  Aziz Ansari

  Parks And Recreation, Balls, Littles

  Reddit AMA, www.reddit.com.

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• Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

  Aziz Ansari

  Ethnicity, People, Great Work

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• 

  I have no interest in art. Let me clarify — I have no interest in non-nude images.

  Aziz Ansari

  Art, Interest, Let Me

  "Parks and Recreation: The Camel". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 2009.

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• I have never taken the high road, but I tell other people to 'cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

  Aziz Ansari

  Taken, People, Parks And Recreation

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". Parks and Recreation, 2009–2015.

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• 

  I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

  Aziz Ansari

  Life Is, Moments, Optimist

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral”". Interview with TashaR, www.avclub.com. February 13, 2013.

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• I just didn’t want to be pigeonholed as an 'ethnic comic' or an 'Asian comic.' I just wanted to be on the same playing field as everyone else.

  Aziz Ansari

  Asian, Want, Fields

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• Zerts' are what I call desserts. 'Trée-trées' are entrées. I call sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' or 'Adam Sandlers.' Air conditioners are 'cool blasterz' with a 'z' - I don't know where that came from. I call cakes 'big ol' cookies.' I call noodles 'long-ass rice.' Fried chicken is 'fry-fry chicky-chick.' Chicken parm is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken cacciatore? 'Chicky-cacc.' I call eggs 'pre-birds,' or 'future birds.' Root beer is 'super water.' Tortillas are 'bean blankets.' And I call forks 'food rakes.'

  Aziz Ansari

  Beer, Air, Cake

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• Paso tanto tiempo en Internet... que me siento como si estuviera metida un millón de páginas en el peor libro de la historia y nunca fuera a dejar de leer.

  Aziz Ansari

  Time, Reading, Book

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• 

  I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

  Aziz Ansari

  Being Single, Home, Going Out

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid about love: “elusive and sadly ephemeral”". Interview with TashaR, www.avclub.com. February 13, 2013.

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• Others fear what the morrow may bring. I am afraid of what happened yesterday.

  Aziz Ansari

  Past, Yesterday, May

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• Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

  Aziz Ansari

  Black, Would Be, World

  "Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?" by Kris Maske, uproxx.com. October 30, 2013.

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• Instead of yelling your opinion, or telling people to shut up, or engaging in this clickbait-internet culture, have a dialogue with someone and ask people questions and listen to what they have to say.

  Aziz Ansari

  Yelling, People, Culture

  "Aziz Ansari gets candid, personal about his candid, personal Netflix show". Interview with Erik Adams, www.avclub.com. November 02, 2015.

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• This is one of my favorite pick up strategies: I'm constantly giving women my keys. So far, none of them have shown up. Matter of time. And I've been robbed twice.

  Aziz Ansari

  Keys, Giving, Matter

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• The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you're gay.

  Aziz Ansari

  Gay, Parent, Hardest

  "Fictional character: Rollerblader". "Human Giant/ Ta Da", (Episode 8), 2007.

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• I went to a place recently I think is one of the most f**ked up places I've ever been to. I'm convinced this place is the epitome of American excess, of American greed. I'm talking about a place called Cold Stone Creamery. Whoa. If you have not been there, the basic gist of Cold Stone is that they take ice cream and then they just go ape sh*t with it.

  Aziz Ansari

  Thinking, Ice Cream, Talking

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• You've got to be pretty confident that you're good. If I do a show and for whatever reason no one laughs, I'll be like, 'Wow, those people are weird'.

  Aziz Ansari

  People, Laughing, Wow

  "What Aziz Ansari Doesn't Know About Tacos". Interview with Tacey Grenrock Woods, www.esquire.com. December 20, 2010.

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• Guardemos un minuto de silencio por todos los asiáticos gorditos a los que los colegas de todo el mundo les gritan "¡Gangnam Style!

  Aziz Ansari

  Silence, Style, Asian

  Twitter post from Aug 27, 2012

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• One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

  Aziz Ansari

  New York, Missing, Burgers

  "Aziz Ansari Interview". Interview with Jessica Hundley, www.askmen.com.

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• Mi padre creció básicamente en una choza en Taiwán sin comida suficiente. Y en una generación, su hijo en Estados Unidos puede hacer un programa cómico sobre lo que quiera.

  Aziz Ansari

  Dad, Son, America

  "‘Master of None’ Creators Aziz Ansari and Alan Yang on Turning Dinner Conversation into Michelin Star TV". Interview with Ben Travers, www.indiewire.com. November 6, 2015.

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• You’re a feminist if you go to a Jay Z and Beyoncé concert, and you’re not like, ‘Mmm, I feel like Beyoncé should get 23 percent less money than Jay Z'.

  Aziz Ansari

  Feminist, Should, Concerts

  "Aziz Ansari Is Better Than Most Celebrities at Talking About Feminism" by Amanda Marcotte, www.slate.com. October 7, 2014.

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• If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.

  Aziz Ansari

  Jobs, Interesting, Would Be

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• Modern life. Where are we running? Sometimes what we want is not always where we are... Are we alone? Is the real winter inside our hearts? We are all struggling for definition in a world that resists our increase.

  Aziz Ansari

  Running, Real, Struggle

  "Fictional character: Tom Haverford". "Parks and Recreation/ Summer Catalog" (Season 2, Episode 20), www.imdb.com. 2010.

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• If you look up feminist in the dictionary, it just means someone who believes men and women have equal rights.

  Aziz Ansari

  Believe, Mean, Men

  "Aziz Ansari Explains Why We Should All Be Feminists" by Emily Zemler, www.elle.com. October 8, 2014.

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• Why would anyone get married and have babies? That's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. Or the scariest thing I've ever heard in my life.

  Aziz Ansari

  Baby, Ideas, Married

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