Ellen DeGeneres Quotes About Comedy

• Me crié rodeado de heterosexuales, como todos los heterosexuales. De ahí venimos los gays: vosotros, los heterosexuales.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Inspirador, Divertido, Hilarante

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Technology, Reality, Phones

  Ellen DeGeneres‏ @TheEllenShow, twitter.com. September 9, 2014.

• Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Funny, Bullying, Hurt

• Me siento como si tuviera resaca, sin todos los recuerdos felices ni los moratones misteriosos.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Funny, Memories, Hangover

• I was doing stand-up at a restaurant and there was a chalkboard on the street out front. It said, Soup of the Day: Cream of Asparagus. Ellen DeGeneres.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Funny, Humor, Asparagus

• I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Funny, Humor, College

• I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Divertido, Cero, Humor

• Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. "Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic." "Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here; helicoptered in!?"

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Funny, Sorry, Hate

  "Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now". Comedy, Documentary, June 25, 2003.

• I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Divertido, Estrés, Humor

  "Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now". www.imdb.com. 2003.

• In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Inspiración, Divertido, Humor

• Volvía a casa de la guardería, bueno, me dijeron que era la guardería. Más tarde me enteré de que llevaba diez años trabajando en una fábrica. Es bueno que un niño sepa hacer guantes.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Divertido, Hogar, Humor

• Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Fake People, Reality, Years

• Comedy can be, especially in a writer's room, really aggressive, kind of a very male-dominated room, and it would be hard for women. It's not a nurturing place. It's not like a lot of women are going to say, I can't wait to live that lifestyle and be in a writer's room until 2 or 3 a.m.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Waiting, Males, Would Be

• It's just, you can get very complacent if you do the same thing all the time and especially the comedian, it gives me you know different things to react to and respond to, and it stimulates me.

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Giving, Different, Comedy

  "Ellen DeGeneres Gets Us Pumped for Ellen's Somewhat Special Special". Interview with B. Alan Orange, movieweb.com. June 10, 2010.

• It's a lot of work to put a brand-new monologue and a brand-new show on the air and find comedy every single day. It's challenging and it's the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's the best-suited thing for me. The more relaxed I get and the more confident I feel, the more I get to play and be myself...

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Challenges, Done, Comedy

  "Oprah Talks to Ellen DeGeneres". Interview with Oprah Winfrey, www.oprah.com. December 2009.

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