Melissa Febos Quotes About Writing

• Me writing the book and the subsequent interactions that we had were actually the cap on that experience. We were still in this weird purgatory about it when I published the book. When I gave them the galleys and what ensued after that, then I understood a lot more about our relationships and what the experience meant to them. I'd never wanted to know what they thought about it at all.

  Melissa Febos

  Book, Writing, Our Relationship

  Source: therumpus.net

• I can only see right in front of me when I'm writing, you know? I never think of it as raw or personal or anything but where I'm at in the moment. But I can see it sort of after I finish.

  Melissa Febos

  Escribir, Pensar, Momentos

  Source: therumpus.net

• Even though novels were the love of my life, I started off writing poetry. I think because I had a knack for image and lyricism, even though I didn't really have anything to write about, or I didn't know what to write about. I could just couple words together that pleased me and so poetry seemed sort of natural.

  Melissa Febos

  Pareja, Escribir, Pensar

  Source: therumpus.net

• No sabía lo suficiente como escritora para entender por qué tenía que hacer esto, pero comprendí de una manera muy visceral que no podía tener esos pensamientos de complacer a la gente y escribir este libro, que sería un libro muy diferente. Sin investigar realmente ese instinto, de lo que me alegro, tomé la decisión consciente de ponerme una venda en los ojos, no pensar en nada y ponerme manos a la obra. Y lo hice. Lo metí todo. Tuve que mirar el cuadro completo para ver lo que necesitaba.

  Melissa Febos

  Libro, Escritura, Pensamiento

  Source: therumpus.net

• I always listen to music when I write! I basically make a playlist for every essay; sometimes it's just one song, or three songs, over and over and over. I sort of find the emotional pitch of the piece, and then match music to it, and then the music becomes a shortcut to the feeling, so I can enter it and work anywhere: on planes, cafes, at work, the train.

  Melissa Febos

  Canción, Escribir, Emoción

  Source: therumpus.net

• When I was in college I started writing prose, because a very smart professor asked me what I like to read and I said, "Novels," and she said, "You should be writing them then." Memoir never even occurred to me. I think I was afraid of nonfiction and I was afraid of navel-gazing, and of being seen.

  Melissa Febos

  Smart, Writing, College

  Source: therumpus.net

• I couldn't have articulated this process at the time; I just sort of did it instinctually. But now when I talk about this with my students all the time, it's one of the first things I address in memoir classes - that you have to put it all in because you're writing your way into the ending of your own story. Even if you think you know what the story is, you don't until you write it. If you start leaving things out you could leave out vital organs and not know it.

  Melissa Febos

  Writing, Thinking, Class

  Source: therumpus.net

• Me planteé más seriamente publicarlo bajo seudónimo que como ficción. Creo que la decisión de escribirlo como no ficción se tomó al principio del proceso, porque el ímpetu abrumador para escribir este libro era comprender lo que significaba la experiencia y anular mis propias reducciones y racionalizaciones, cualquier historia que tuviera que no fuera cierta. No me sentaba bien y necesitaba responder a eso. Esa es en cierto modo la razón por la que escribo todo.

  Melissa Febos

  Libro, Escritura, Pensamiento

  Source: therumpus.net

• I made a conscious decision when I was writing that book to depict in real time how I treated it, and how I thought about it, and how I portrayed it to other people, because I wanted the story to be one of change from that to a more honest appraisal, a more accepting appraisal of myself and other people in that world.

  Melissa Febos

  Real, Libro, Escritura

  Source: therumpus.net

• The other reason I didn't want to fictionalize it is because one of the main points of publishing a memoir in nonfiction was that I wanted to write about what had been a very lonely experience. The books that most saved my life as a kid were the ones that articulated lonely experiences that I had thought were mine alone.

  Melissa Febos

  Solitario, Libro, Escritura

  Source: therumpus.net

• A lot of the experiences I write about could be described as grasping for boundaries, trying to find the limits of things.

  Melissa Febos

  Writing, Trying, Limits

  Source: therumpus.net

• I'm always writing to a younger version of myself, or a young woman who is like I was. I want that girl to know that I really existed and that it all went down that way.

  Melissa Febos

  Girl, Writing, Want

  Source: therumpus.net

• No tienes que escribir como David Foster Wallace, James Baldwin o Maggie Nelson; de hecho, no deberías. Esos escritores lo hacen mejor de lo que tú podrías hacerlo nunca.

  Melissa Febos

  Writing, Maggie, Nelson

  Source: therumpus.net

• Estaba en la fantasía. Me estaba vendiendo la fantasía mientras lo hacía. Nunca se me ocurrió. Tomé notas, pero sólo porque soy escritor. He sido escritor desde que tenía cinco años. No tienes ningún tipo de experiencia extravagante, impactante, extraordinaria, horripilante sin escribirla, porque sé y sabía que se te olvidan las cosas. Por muy extravagante y asombrosa y extraordinaria y aparentemente inolvidable que sea una experiencia, es como un sueño. Se erosionará inevitablemente, para mí.

  Melissa Febos

  Dream, Writing, Erode

  Source: therumpus.net

• Early in my career as a domme, I both admired and feared becoming one of those career dommes. I saw, in myself, and in some other women in that industry, the way that sex work could eclipse the other parts of your personality, the way that I started to feel as if I wasn't qualified to do anything else. I had always known that I wanted to be a writer, and I stopped writing for a time while I was domming; the experience subsumed my other interests, and it scared me. Now, however, I have nothing but admiration for them.

  Melissa Febos

  Sex, Writing, Becoming One

  Interview With Rebecca Keith, therumpus.net. April 2, 2010.

• I saved letters from my boss. There are things in there that are directly transcribed. I was so glad I did that. Sometimes when I was writing the book I wondered if some little writer hobbit part of my brain was back there puppeteering that action. But it really never, on any conscious level, occurred to me that I would write about it. I will say, I thought probably some day there would be an ancillary character in some novel - not in the one I was currently writing - that would be a dominatrix or something.

  Melissa Febos

  Libro, Escritura, Personaje

  Source: therumpus.net

• I absolutely think that women told that writing about themselves is somehow not worthy enough for a public audience all the time. I hear it so often from my students and friends. As if it doesn't take rigorous craft, and intellectual acuity to write a slammin' book of any kind. But perhaps, especially, about the body.

  Melissa Febos

  Libro, Escritura, Pensamiento

  Source: therumpus.net

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