Greg Proops Citas

• If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

  Greg Proops

  Iraq, Mass Destruction, Growth

  45 Copiar cita

• Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Casinos, Native

  13 Copiar cita

• Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it?

  Greg Proops

  Sex, Reading, Talking

  14 Copiar cita

• Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

  Greg Proops

  Falling In Love, Believe, People

  14 Copiar cita

• Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Honesty, Irony

  11 Copiar cita

• Los pantalones blancos deben llevarse en dos ocasiones: Una, nunca. Y dos, si vendes helados.

  Greg Proops

  Ice Cream, Two, White

  16 Copiar cita

• It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.

  Greg Proops

  Materia

  11 Copiar cita

• If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

  Greg Proops

  Going Away, Problem, Find Me

  6 Copiar cita

• No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

  Greg Proops

  Natural

  12 Copiar cita

• If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.

  Greg Proops

  País, Años, Blanco

  11 Copiar cita

• I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

  Greg Proops

  Nightlife, Boogie

  13 Copiar cita

• You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

  Greg Proops

  Ironic, Facts, Breathe

  5 Copiar cita

• Nunca abogaría por el uso de la droga porque, ya sabes, no soy un atleta profesional y no tengo acceso a las cosas buenas.

  Greg Proops

  Athlete, Dope, Use

  4 Copiar cita

• Me gusta ir a Inglaterra, y te diré por qué. Me gusta ir a un país donde me consideren la persona más guapa. Así de simple. Hollywood, una especie de golpe aplastante al ego - 'Oye Buddy Holly, eres tan viejo, ¿no has perecido en un accidente de avión?'. Pero no en Inglaterra, Dios mío, allí no. En Inglaterra, Dios bendiga esa pequeña isla, allí es, 'Dios mío, míralo. Tiene todos sus dientes y sus orejas están en proporción a su cabeza.' Soy el maldito Brad Pitt en esa isla.

  Greg Proops

  Crush, Country, Blow

  14 Copiar cita

• Me encantan los animales. No podría comerme uno entero, pero si quieres me lo parto contigo.

  Greg Proops

  Animal, Separa, Quiere

  9 Copiar cita

• You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

  Greg Proops

  Years, White, People

  9 Copiar cita

• I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.

  Greg Proops

  Thinking, Genius, Stealing

  9 Copiar cita

• We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

  Greg Proops

  Blue, Guy, Faces

  10 Copiar cita

• Desde que eres pequeño escuchas esto: 'Los peregrinos dejaron Inglaterra para escapar de la persecución religiosa y colar la libertad religiosa en el nuevo mundo'. Pero incluso cuando eres pequeño te dices: 'Umm.. ¿Mentira?'.

  Greg Proops

  Religious, Funny Thanksgiving, World

  7 Copiar cita

• And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.

  Greg Proops

  Fool, Cop, Mint

  10 Copiar cita

• Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.

  Greg Proops

  Hot, Arizona, Motto

  8 Copiar cita

• I have to hear this all the time in England: Well, all Americans are fat and stupid, mm-hm-hm-hm-hm. Really? Well, thanks for sending over the best and brightest to start the party. Maybe we can send a few freaky, Texas, militia, hate-group, gun-toting weirdoes back to your country.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Hate, Stupid

  "Comedy Central Presents/ Greg Proops". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1999.

  7 Copiar cita

• People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.

  Greg Proops

  Believe, People, Looks

  6 Copiar cita

• I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.

  Greg Proops

  Kings, Glasses, Years

  6 Copiar cita

• Mi sensación es que hemos huido de los animales durante tres millones de años. Ahora es nuestro momento. Si una vaca pudiera comerte, lo haría. Y tampoco le importaría lo cómodo que fuera tu viaje en camión.

  Greg Proops

  Animal, Años, Sentimientos

  5 Copiar cita

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