Merrill Markoe Quotes

• I sometimes look into the face of my dog Stan and see a wistful sadness and existential angst, when all he is actually doing is slowly scanning the ceiling for flies.

  Merrill Markoe

  Dog, Sadness, Ceilings

  Merrill Markoe (1992). “What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I've Learned”, Viking Press

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• I’ve made my life’s work spotting assholes. And you know, I think it’s harder now than ever before because there’s so many socially acceptable ways to exhibit a pathological lack of empathy.

  Merrill Markoe

  Thinking, Empathy, Way

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• I always hated those classic kid movies like Old Yeller or The Yearling where the beloved pet dies. What would be so wrong with having those damn kids learn their lessons about mortality from watching Grandpa kick? Then at least the dog would be around to comfort them.

  Merrill Markoe

  Dog, Kids, Grandpa

  Merrill Markoe (2006). “Walking in Circles Before Lying Down: A Novel”, p.208, Villard

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• Men who have a lot of charm have it in place of something real that you are eventually going to want from them and find that they do not have.

  Merrill Markoe

  Real, Men, Want

  Merrill Markoe (1994). “How to be Hap-hap-happy Like Me”, Viking Press

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• You just never know when it might be cookie time. And, that is what the dogs have taught me.

  Merrill Markoe

  Dog, Cookies, Might

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• Beware the man who doesn't ask you any questions about yourself on your first date.

  Merrill Markoe

  Men, Firsts, First Date

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• whenever I encountered a slide show titled 'Eight Diet Foods That Pack on the Pounds' or 'Celebrity Fashion Fails,' I'd have to stop and investigate because hey, it might be information I'd need in some unforeseeable future where I had become, for some reason, a fat celebrity.

  Merrill Markoe

  Fashion, Eight, Might

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• The day is divided into two important sections: Mealtimes and everything else.

  Merrill Markoe

  Two, Important, Divided

  Merrill Markoe (1992). “What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I've Learned”, Viking Press

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• Here’s what I learned: First thing in the morning, before I have drowned myself in coffee, while I still have that sleepy brain I used to believe was useless — that is the best brain for creative writing. Words come pouring out easily while my head still feels as if it is full of ground fog, wrapped in flannel and gauze, and surrounded by a hive of humming, velvety sleep bees.

  Merrill Markoe

  Morning, Coffee, Believe

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• Every moment of your life that is not a complete nightmare is happiness.

  Merrill Markoe

  Nightmare, Moments, Complete Happiness

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• I have learned that the stuff that causes me anxiety, the stuff I instinctively veer away from, is usually a road map to where my own creative growth can be found. So I consciously head toward the places that make me uncomfortable.

  Merrill Markoe

  Anxiety, Creative, Growth

  Interview with AVC, www.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

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• As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on.

  Merrill Markoe

  Emotional, Moments, Imagine

  "Q&A: The Comedy Writer Merrill Markoe" by Joyce Wadler, www.nytimes.com. October 26, 2011.

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• No one would argue against the fact that L.A. leads the country in opportunities for being hip and pretentious.

  Merrill Markoe

  Country, Opportunity, Facts

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• Beware the cute, hot guy who kind of reminds you of the parent you don't get along with: your cold, distant father who left when you were a kid or your hot-tempered mother whom you could never please.

  Merrill Markoe

  Cute, Mother, Father

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• Since - in my belief system - we each get only one go-round here on planet Earth, it is the task of the writer to interpret, examine, and reflect on the specifics of their one and only life experience.

  Merrill Markoe

  Tasks, Earth, Belief

  Interview with AVC, tv.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

  7 Copiar cita

• When anyone lacks self-awareness and doesn't recognize their transparencies, it's always funny.

  Merrill Markoe

  Self, Awareness, Transparency

  Interview with AVC, tv.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

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• The phrase "singular incredible life" seems to me that it applies more appropriately to Jane Goodall or David Attenborough, people I regard with awe and who stand for great humanism and knowledge.

  Merrill Markoe

  People, Phrases, Incredibles

  Interview with AVC, www.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

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• My goal was always getting my work out in the world, and in many ways, I feel like the luckiest person alive.

  Merrill Markoe

  Work Out, Goal, Alive

  Interview with AVC, www.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

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• Some people know that they are so adorable looking, all they have to do is smile and dress up and they get plenty from that. Then there are some of us who, early on, see that that doesn't work. So we joke about it.

  Merrill Markoe

  Smile, Adorable, People

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• My dogs, the only creatures on the planet marked by my singular nurturing imprint, have all turned out to be rude and self-absorbed. In all likelihood, if they were children instead of dogs, I would have foisted more Charlie Sheens or Kardashians onto our crumbling culture.

  Merrill Markoe

  Dog, Children, Self

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• A more complex - but only slightly more original - way to feel out of it is available at the hip and pretentious nightclubs and bars along the Sunset Strip.

  Merrill Markoe

  Sunset, Bars, Way

  Merrill Markoe (2011). “What the Dogs Have Taught Me: And Other Amazing Things I've Learned”, p.200, Villard

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• I think people figure out early in their lives what currency they can work in.

  Merrill Markoe

  Thinking, People, Figure Skating

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• Beware the old man in young guy's clothes. If he's over 35 and comes to pick you up looking as though he's headed for a skateboarding competition while you are dressed to go to a nice restaurant, this is not a good sign.

  Merrill Markoe

  Nice, Men, Clothes

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• Whatever behavior you've experienced from people in the past, expect them to do it again and again and again.

  Merrill Markoe

  Past, People, Behavior

  Interview with Litsa Dremousis, tv.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

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• Of the things I know to be true in life, right at the top of the list of irrefutable truths is, "No one ever listens to anyone." It might even be No. 1.

  Merrill Markoe

  Might, Lists, Truth Is

  Interview with Litsa Dremousis, www.avclub.com. November 1, 2011.

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