Funny Divorce Quotes - Page 2

• My husband taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Divertido, Vida, Ingenioso

  "Wit and wisdom: Zsa Zsa Gabor's best and most memorable quotes". www.theguardian.com. December 19, 2016.

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• No puedes seguir casado en una situación en la que tienes miedo de irte a dormir por si tu mujer te corta el cuello.

  Mike Tyson

  Sueño, Divorcio, Corte

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• Its easier to get a divorce than pass the driving test. Now its just a basic form-filling exercise.

  Paul Coleridge

  Divorce, Exercise, Tests

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• It was one of those ridiculous arrangements that couples make when they are separating, but before they are divorced - when they still imagine that children and property can be shared with more magnanimity than recrimination.

  John Irving

  Children, Couple, Divorce

  "A Widow for One Year". Book by John Irving, May 5, 1998.

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• En nuestra familia no nos divorciamos de nuestros hombres, los enterramos.

  Ruth Gordon

  Divorce, Men, Our Family

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• En lugar de volver a casarme, voy a buscar a una mujer que no me guste y le voy a dar una casa.

  Lewis Grizzard

  Divertido, Matrimonio, Hilarante

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• Para superar mi divorcio, me recetaron vivir un tiempo en la Mansión Playboy.

  James Caan

  Funny, Divorce, Playboy

  "James Caan: Lo que he aprendido". Entrevista con Ross Johnson, www.esquire.com. 29 de enero de 2007.

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• El matrimonio es probablemente la principal causa de divorcio.

  Larry Gelbart

  Divorcio, Causas, Jefes

  "M*A*S*H. Temporada 3. Tablón de anuncios". Series de TV,

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• There are four stages to marriage. First there's the affair, then there's the marriage, then children, and finally the fourth stage, without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.

  Norman Mailer

  Children, Divorce, Cynical

  News Summaries, December 31, 1969.

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• A divorce lawyer is a chameleon with a law book.

  Marvin Mitchelson

  Book, Divorce, Law

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• No puedo soportar más su genialidad.

  Rita Hayworth

  Funny, Divorce, Genius

  "The Cigar That Fell in Love With a Pipe review - David Camus and Nick Abadzis revisit Welles and Hayworth" by Rachel Cooke, www.theguardian.com. May 26, 2014.

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• The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce.

  Miguel de Cervantes

  Divorce, Worst, Reconciliation

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• I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.

  Woody Allen

  Home, Divorce, Should Have

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• Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

  H. L. Mencken

  Marriage, Devil, Ransom

  A Little Book in C Major ch. 6 (1916)

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• Durante un tiempo nos planteamos si irnos de vacaciones o divorciarnos. Decidimos que un viaje a las Bermudas se acaba en dos semanas, pero un divorcio es algo que siempre se tiene.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Single, Divorce

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• Divorce sucks. Let me tell you, after five years of marriage, it is devastating to have the person with the good credit move out.

  Rich Vos

  Funny, Moving, Divorce

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• Workaholicism is such a tough addiction to get over. I had to divorce my wife because she was an enabler.

  Dave Mordal

  Funny, Divorce, Wife

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• I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters.

  Susan B. Anthony

  Media, Divorcio, Hombres

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• Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.

  Voltaire

  Believe, Divorce, Ancient

  Voltaire (2016). “Voltaire – The Philosophical Works: Treatise On Tolerance, Philosophical Dictionary, Candide, Letters on England, Plato’s Dream, Dialogues, The Study of Nature, Ancient Faith and Fable, Zadig…: From the French writer, historian and philosopher, famous for his wit, his attacks on the established Catholic Church, and his advocacy of freedom of religion and freedom of expression”, p.737, e-artnow

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• Los maridos estadounidenses son los mejores del mundo; ningún otro marido es tan generoso con su mujer ni se divorcia con tanta facilidad.

  Elinor Glyn

  Husband, Divorce, Wife

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• Si hicieras una lista de las razones por las que cualquier pareja se casó, y otra lista de las razones de su divorcio, tendrías un montón de coincidencias.

  Mignon McLaughlin

  Amor, Aniversario, Matrimonio

  Mignon McLaughlin (2014). "Aperçus: Los aforismos de Mignon McLaughlin", p.24, BookBaby

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• What happened? Satan was busy?

  Sam Kinison

  Funny, Divorce, Satan

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• In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers.

  Garry Trudeau

  Spring, Divorce, Thinking

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• I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

  Zsa Zsa Gabor

  Funny, Lost Love, Women

  "How to Catch a Man, how to Keep a Man, how to Get Rid of a Man". Book by Zsa Zsa Gabor, 1970.

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• 

  Mi esposa Mary y yo llevamos casados cuarenta y siete años y ni una sola vez hemos tenido una discusión tan seria como para plantearnos el divorcio; asesinato, sí, pero divorcio, nunca.

  Jack Benny

  Amor, Divertido, Relación

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