Ian O'Doherty Quotes

• Are we expected to live in a world where we can no longer send death threats to colleagues via email? Where we can no longer IM other people to suggest physically improbable and morally dodgy sexual practices? Where doctoring photos of people to place them in legally compromising positions is frowned upon? Who wants to live in that sort of world? Not this column, that's for sure.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Practice, People, Want

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• It would be a crime for me to say that Islam is a backward desert superstition that has no place in modern, enlightened Europe and it would be a crime to point out that Jewish settlers in Israel who believe they have a God given right to take the land are, frankly, mad. All the above assertions will, no doubt, offend someone or other.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Believe, Israel, Europe

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• Resulta que el conservacionismo puede ser divertido, con la noticia de que el cangrejo real rojo noruego -que pesa un impresionante kilo entero de jugoso cangrejo por caparazón- debe comerse tanto como sea posible, porque se está comiendo a todos los demás peces de Noruega. De hecho, sería una negligencia por nuestra parte no comer todos los bichos que podamos cada semana, ya que suponen una auténtica amenaza ecológica para la vida marina. Así que, vamos vegetarianos. Veamos cuánto os importa realmente el medio ambiente.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Funny, Kings, Marine

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• Si la difamación de la religión fuera ilegal, sería un delito para mí decir que la noción de transubstanciación es tan ridícula que incluso un niño pequeño debería ser capaz de ver la locura y la imposibilidad física absoluta de que un trozo de pan y un poco de vino tomen forma corpórea de alguna manera.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Children, Wine, Insanity

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• There are two types of people in this world - those who would appear on reality television and the rest of us.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Realidad, Dos, Personas

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• It is fashionable to scoff at Americans, but they routinely produce most of the important and ground-breaking entertainment in the world. 'Popular culture' is still culture, Shakespeare was once as popular as any of today's icons with the common people.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Icons, People, Important

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• It seems you haven't really become a success until you have as many people as possible condemning you.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Felicidad, Éxito, Personas

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• According to the nanny who sold her story, Victoria used to scream at her husband: I gave up my music for you. So, the next time you feel like slagging off David Beckham, just take a moment to ponder on how much we all owe the man.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Soccer, Football, Husband

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• Polls are now even more meaningless than ever... there was the case of Ronnie O'Brien, the young footballer who incredibly found himself at Juventus, and even more incredibly found himself in the running to win an internet poll of the great club's greatest ever player. The curse ironically struck O'Brien a second time when he was at one point leading Time magazine's list of the Greatest People Of The 20th Century. The error in the polling was soon rectified and O'Brien, happily, is leading a highly successful career playing pro-football with FC Dallas in the American soccer league.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Soccer, Running, Football

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• Where would we be without science? Sure, those boffins may have come up with occasionally handy items such as life-saving medicine, air travel and the internet, but science is also guilty of some terrible things, like eugenics and Jordan's breasts.

  Ian O'Doherty

  Science, Medicine, Eugenics

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• What does Christmas mean if we can't encourage small children to sit on a stranger's lap?

  Ian O'Doherty

  Divertido, Niños, Inteligente

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