Carlos Mencia Quotes

• El problema del mundo es que hay demasiados estúpidos y nadie para comérselos.

  Carlos Mencía

  Stupid, People, World

  8 Copiar cita

• If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

  Carlos Mencía

  Baby, Laughing, Ifs

  FaceBook post by Carlos Mencia from Feb 08, 2012

  18 Copiar cita

• Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

  Carlos Mencía

  Song, Stupid, Mean

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, 2005-2008.

  16 Copiar cita

• America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

  Carlos Mencía

  País, América, Gente

  10 Copiar cita

• God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

  Carlos Mencía

  Believe, People, Looks

  9 Copiar cita

• When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.

  Carlos Mencía

  Rapper, White, People

  "Mind of Mencia". Comedy Series, 2005 - 2008.

  16 Copiar cita

• I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican. You understand that? It doesn't matter what you say. See - you don't understand that, white people, because wherever you go, you're white. You're here, you're white. You go to L. A., you're white. You go to Denver, you're white. You go to Miami, you're still white. In L. A. I'm a Mexican, In Florida, I'm a Cuban. In New York, I'm a Puerto Rican. And when I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.

  Carlos Mencía

  New York, Florida, California

  20 Copiar cita

• I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.

  Carlos Mencía

  Taught Us, People, Swim

  "New Orleans Web Denizens Steamed Over Mencia's Orpheus Invite" by Lauren List, www.mardigras.com. February 05, 2009.

  19 Copiar cita

• I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.

  Carlos Mencía

  America, Water, Swim

  15 Copiar cita

• If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.

  Carlos Mencía

  People, East, Way

  "A Comedian’s Act Is Leaner but Not Meaner". Interview with Joel Keller, www.nytimes.com. November 25, 2011.

  19 Copiar cita

• Cuando un negro no tiene electricidad ni agua, lo llaman gueto. Cuando los blancos no tienen electricidad ni agua, lo llaman camping.

  Carlos Mencía

  Ghetto, White, People

  "Mind of Mencia", www.imdb.com. (2005-).

  39 Copiar cita

• We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

  Carlos Mencía

  Labor Day, Celebrate, Going To Work

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, www.imdb.com. 2005-2008.

  12 Copiar cita

• Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

  Carlos Mencía

  Father, America, Nebraska

  16 Copiar cita

• If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!

  Carlos Mencía

  Reír, Si

  5 Copiar cita

• I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!

  Carlos Mencía

  People, Holocaust, Needs

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, 2005-2008.

  17 Copiar cita

• Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.

  Carlos Mencía

  Fun, Racism, Exclusion

  9 Copiar cita

• I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.

  Carlos Mencía

  Moving, Compassion, People

  7 Copiar cita

• My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

  Carlos Mencía

  Simple, People, Simplicity

  Fuente: www.nj.com

  11 Copiar cita

• Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

  Carlos Mencía

  Girl, Teacher, Years

  "Mind of Mencia". Sketch-comedy Series, 2005-2008.

  7 Copiar cita

• When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.

  Carlos Mencía

  Talking, Two, News

  13 Copiar cita

• La raza hace que las cosas tengan gracia. Un negro conduciendo en NASCAR: no tiene gracia. Un negro conduciendo un coche patrocinado por Tide: no tiene gracia. Un negro conduciendo un coche patrocinado por Aunt Jemima: divertidísimo.

  Carlos Mencía

  Aunt, Race, Car

  9 Copiar cita

• If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.

  Carlos Mencía

  School, Names, Goal

  TV Series "Mind of Mencia", www.imdb.com. (2005– ).

  9 Copiar cita

• If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.

  Carlos Mencía

  Names, People, Community

  10 Copiar cita

• Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.

  Carlos Mencía

  Inspirational, Ashamed, Knows

  8 Copiar cita

• We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.

  Carlos Mencía

  Gay, Names, Two

  4 Copiar cita

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