Billy Connolly Quotes - Page 3

• Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's on the outside of your ass?

  Billy Connolly

  Hemisphere, Asteroids, Ass

  13 Copiar cita

• Un pedo es sólo tu culo aplaudiendo.

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Humor, Arses

  9 Copiar cita

• Wisdom isn't an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn't an answer. It's a question.

  Billy Connolly

  Guy, Mountain, Answers

  9 Copiar cita

• Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.

  Billy Connolly

  Looks, Stolen, Expensive

  10 Copiar cita

• ¿Tu madre nunca te dijo que no bebieras con la cabeza vacía?

  Billy Connolly

  Divertido, Madre, Humor

  12 Copiar cita

• Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.

  Billy Connolly

  Running, Scissors, Objects

  5 Copiar cita

• I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can't fly

  Billy Connolly

  Air, Up In The Air, Adelaide

  9 Copiar cita

• I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little.

  Billy Connolly

  Thinking, People, Citizens

  11 Copiar cita

• Don't die until you're dead.

  Billy Connolly

  Aging, Dies

  "Dustin Hoffman Delights in San Sebastian" by Pamela Rolfe, www.hollywoodreporter.com. September 29, 2012.

  7 Copiar cita

• I was brought up as a Catholic. I've got A-level guilt.

  Billy Connolly

  Catholic, Guilt, Levels

  6 Copiar cita

• Don't tell me how to do my job. I don't come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.

  Billy Connolly

  Jobs, Workplace

  12 Copiar cita

• It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

  Billy Connolly

  Religion, Islam, Different

  11 Copiar cita

• Without arts programmes there's only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.

  Billy Connolly

  Art, Reality, Needs

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  7 Copiar cita

• Try to catch a trout and experience the glorious feeling of letting it go and seeing it swimming away.

  Billy Connolly

  Swimming, Feelings, Let It Go

  11 Copiar cita

• I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.

  Billy Connolly

  Dog, Independent, Doors

  9 Copiar cita

• My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don't eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.

  Billy Connolly

  Advice, Kitchen, Buckets

  "Billy Connolly: Onstage Solo, But Not Lonely". www.npr.org. May 6, 2006.

  9 Copiar cita

• Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!

  Billy Connolly

  Incendios, Árboles, Bosques

  12 Copiar cita

• Never trust people who've only got one book.

  Billy Connolly

  Book, People, Never Trust

  9 Copiar cita

• I used to be a folk singer, but I was... dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.

  Billy Connolly

  Fog, Voice, Singers

  "Billy Connolly: Live". Documentary, Comedy, 1994.

  6 Copiar cita

• When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.

  Billy Connolly

  School, Air, Aberdeen

  11 Copiar cita

• The more you know the less the better.

  Billy Connolly

  Conoce

  Twitter post from Oct 13, 2012

  5 Copiar cita

• Una vez que tienes éxito, la gente sabe dónde vives, el tipo de casa en la que vives, el tipo de coche que conduces, la ropa que llevas, así que sería condescendiente ir y hablar como un soldador. La soldadura es un misterio para mí ahora. No puedes volver atrás, tu vida cambia cada día.

  Billy Connolly

  Life Changing, Successful, Clothes You Wear

  36 Copiar cita

• All anyone really needs to know about barbed wire is that it can tear the arse out of your trousers, give a cow a good fright, entangle a Yorkshire terrier for life, and is nasty stuff made by greedy men.

  Billy Connolly

  Divertido, Humor, Hombres

  7 Copiar cita

• I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far.

  Billy Connolly

  Believe, Angel, Marijuana

  72 Copiar cita

• I loathe hecklers. I haven't got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone. There's an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it's a different venue.

  Billy Connolly

  Tickets, Different, Hecklers

  60 Copiar cita

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