Jeremy Clarkson Quotes - Page 4

• I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Cheer, Thinking, Ideas

  "Get me a rope before Mandelson wipes us all out" by Jeremy Clarkson, www.thetimes.co.uk. November 8, 2009.

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• That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Orange, Lions, Ridiculous

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• Like every big organisation these days, the BBC is obsessed with the wellbeing of those who set foot on its premises. Studios must display warning notices if there is real glass on the set, and the other day I was presented with a booklet explaining how to use a door. I am not kidding.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Real, Glasses, Doors

  Jeremy Clarkson (2004). “The world according to Clarkson”

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• Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t
  you?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Thinking, Mad, Top Gear

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• Seamos claros. El zorro no es un perrito naranja con ojos de cierva y cola ondulante. Es un lobo enfermo con la moral de un psicópata y los dientes de un gran tiburón blanco.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Dog, Eye, Sharks

  "The World According to Clarkson". Book by Jeremy Clarkson, 2004.

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• .. international hand of freindship. A cigarette

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Hands, Cigarette, International

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• In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Car, Complaining, Top Gear

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• Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  President, Tonight, Way

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• It was as relaxing as being tickled.

  Jeremy Clarkson

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• It couldn't pull a greased
  stick out of a pig's bottom

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Pigs, Sticks, Top Gear

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• I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Bored, Kitchen, Sausage

  Jeremy Clarkson (2004). “The world according to Clarkson”

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• I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Fall, Men, Ice

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• Selling through the internet seems to be a very good idea. There are a million areas that we can go to.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Ideas, Internet, Selling

  Fuente: www.gq-magazine.co.uk

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• I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow your daughter, because it amounts to the same thing.'

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Daughter, Top Gear, Yeah

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• I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Children, Hate, My Children

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• Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Mean, Past, Bears

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• Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Light, Would Be, Top Gear

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• Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Top Gear, Cool Cars, Comfortable

  "Top Gear: Serie 8". TV Series, 7 de mayo de 2006.

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• I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Knights, Use, Lasts

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• Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun - except at 4am when they hear a strange sound in the kitchen.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Mean, Home, Gun

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• If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Football, Lasts, Slow Motion

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• Ooh bueno tengo sífilis, la MEJOR de las enfermedades de transmisión sexual.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Syphilis, Top Gear

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• If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  People, House, Three

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• Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face, on his face. All we know is he’s called the Stig.

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Tattoo, Size, Faces

  "Top Gear", July 13, 2008.

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• I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it?

  Jeremy Clarkson

  Mother, Children, Dirt

  "Jeremy Clarkson lifts 'pointless' injunction against ex-wife" by Josh Halliday, www.theguardian.com. October 27, 2011.

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